


juicebox love songs and other things to talk about

by clumsygyrl (thegirlthatisclumsy)



Category: A-Babies vs. X-Babies (2012), Avengers (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Fluff, Gen, I Don't Even Know, I feel like I should apologize for this, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-03
Updated: 2012-12-03
Packaged: 2017-11-20 04:06:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/581130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirlthatisclumsy/pseuds/clumsygyrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A juicebox is just juice in a waxy paper box unless you share it with a new person.  Then the juicebox becomes something like a handshake.  Handshakes are good for making friends.  Phil Coulson had figured that out way before Clint Barton had come in and sat down next to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	juicebox love songs and other things to talk about

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Schuyler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schuyler/gifts).



> Just one of the many things I finished for Mini Nano 2012. December shall now be called Edit-o-pacalypse. Big big big humongous thanks to Schuyler as always for making things make sense. Also for letting me play with some of her canon ideas for A-Babies.

A juicebox is just juice in a waxy paper box unless you share it with a new person. Then the juicebox becomes something like a handshake. Handshakes are good for making friends. Phil Coulson had figured that out way before Clint Barton had come in and sat down next to him.

+

Phil Coulson was not a baby any more. He was a big boy now who was a part of an elite fighting group. Mostly they fought bad guys and girls who did lots of not so nice things. Some of the time they fought the other group of supposed do-gooders. Phil rolled his eyes when he thought about stupid stinky head Scott Summers and his stupid face. He had no idea why Jean Grey decided to be in the X school across the street. Sure, she was a mutant, but she was nice. Not like that stinky head Summers.

“Hey, didja hear? We're gettin' two new kids in our class tomorrow,” Steve said, sharing the blue crayon. Phil liked it when Steve sat next to him. He was the biggest kid in the class 'cept for Bruce when he got cranky (or someone stole his animal crackers) and he always shared his stuff with Phil. Phil thought Steve was the best. Steve used to be the smallest kid in their playgroup, but he went to see some doctors and they did some light stuff and gave him some medicine and then Steve got stronger. Phil was glad that they didn't change his brain because Steve stayed the same guy who shared his stuff.

“Yeah! Mama says they're bein' 'dopted. That means that you don't got a family and another family wants you and you get to have a new family,” Phil said, passing over the purple crayon. It was one of his favorite colors, but Steve was his first best friend and Phil knew sharing with best friends was important.

“That's pretty nifty,” Steve said and Phil laughed. But not mean or anything, Phil just liked how Steve talked like Grandpa Canton. Steve kind of reminded Phil of a grandpa guy some of the time. 

“I hope the new kids are nice. Not like some people,” Phil said making a face at Tony Stark on the other side of the classroom. He was up to his elbows in robot parts and making his best friend Rhodey guard his talking backpack. 

Steve looked over where Phil was and he blushed. “Anthony's okay. He shared his gummy bears with me and he helped me find Bucky Bear's mask when I lost it at recess yesterday.”

Phil rolled his eyes. Everyone knew that Tony was the one who took Bucky Bear's mask so he and Steve could go on a mission together to go find it. He was about to tell Steve when Mrs. Shield clapped her hands together. 

“Okay, children. It's time for naps. No sneaking out. No planning world domination. No using powers or robotics or magic,” she narrowed her eyes to the two Odinsons in the corner.

“Thor said I could, Lady Shielddottir,” Loki said holding up a pair of scissors and a hank of golden hair.

“The last time you cut someone's hair, Lady Sif went from a blond to a brunette. No more of that or I will call your mother, Loki.”

Thor patted Loki's shoulder and looked up at Mrs. Shield. “No harm was done. Loki and I will take our rest!” He beamed up at her and then dragged his brother to the pile of sleeping mats.

“They're so weird some times,” Maria said, coming up behind Phil. She had her suction cup guns holstered and she was looking around at the other kids who were putting away toys and getting ready for quiet time.

“We're all mad here,” Tony piped up from the floor, already claiming a huge swath of space with Bucky Bear sitting right in the middle mat next to his.

Steve flomped down next to Bucky Bear and Tony and grinned at him. “I'm not mad.”

“Boys are so weird,” Maria said, stomping away to talk to Sharon.

Phil watched as Steve hugged Bucky Bear close and shared his pillow with Tony. Maria was right. Boys were weird.

+

Clint Barton was one of the most annoying kids Phil had ever met. He talked fast and twitched whenever someone got too close to him if it wasn't his sister Natasha.

“Clint is not my blood brother,” Natasha said picking out the raisins from her cup of trail mix and setting them aside in a little pile. Clint had already left his share of yogurt covered pretzels on her snack mat and gone off screaming and chasing after Peter Parker.

Whatever Clint was going to do was probably going to make Peter cry.

Most things made Peter cry.

Except spiders.

“But he is my real brother,” Natasha said setting aside the peanuts and cashews in a purple cup. 

Clint swept by in a blur of black and purple with another yell. 

The cup disappeared with it.

Phil tilted his head and studied Natasha with a nod. “I get it.”

“I thought you might,” Natasha patted Phil’s hand and passed over her extra M&Ms.

+

Phil had no idea how he got a shadow. A noisy one that made silly jokes about farts and clowns. “Barton, it is reading time. It's when we read.” He held up a book. It was his favorite at the moment. He enjoyed Paddington and Steve and his platoon liked it when Phil read it to them.

Clint hung upside down and wrinkled his nose. His sunglasses slipped off his nose and Phil noticed just how blue his eyes were. They were blue like the sky after it rained, but not blue like Hank McCoy's furry face. Phil thought it was an okay color. He wondered if there was a crayon that matched Clint's eyes. Phil was about to ask about crayons but Clint jammed his sunglasses back on and frowned.

“Reading is boring,” Clint said nodding as if he agreed with himself. “It's more fun playing circus or shooting things.” He held up his bow like it would make him right.

Phil rolled his eyes and held up Paddington and pointed at Clint. “You just think reading is boring because you've never found the right book. My dad says that books are like friends that you can carry with you if you want and they never tire of you or leave you.”

Clint rolled off the pile of sleeping mats and landed on his feet next to Phil. He looked down at the book and he twisted up his mouth. He opened his mouth then shut it with a snap. He leaned in and Phil wondered if Clint was going to burp in his face like he did last time. “I don't read so good.”

Phil watched as the red climbed up the back of Clint's neck and kind of disappeared in the scruffy part of Clint's hair. “Oh.” He turned his head and he grabbed another book from the shelf next to him. “I'm a good teacher. I could maybe help you read better.”

Clint pushed his glasses up to the top of his head. He smiled all big and bright and Phil blinked at him. Clint looked kind of pretty when he smiled. “You'd really teach me, Phil?”

Phil shrugged and he patted the place next to him. “Sure. This was my favorite last month. It's about a hungry caterpillar.”

Clint scrunched up his legs and leaned in close to look at the pictures. “Cool. I like caterpillars. They turn into butterflies and can, uhm, you know. They can fly.”

Phil opened the book so half of it was lying on Clint's lap. “Flying is pretty cool.”

Clint nodded. “It is! I wish I could fly, but I s'ppose bein' able to hunt like a hawk is almost as good.”

“I think it's pretty cool what you can do,” Phil said and he felt his cheeks go all hot and funny. He ducked his head and started to read the first page.

He pretended he didn't notice Clint staring at him.

+

Phil knew that Scott Summers was a no good mean stink head. Sure, he saved people and the world, but deep down he was a meanie. The jerk stole Bucky Bear from Steve when Scott knew how special Bucky Bear was to Steve. It was all Steve had left when his first best friend went away.

“I do not like that one with the visor,” Natasha said, calmly flipping from the gentle up thrust of the swing and landing with a deft little roll next to the big tree where Phil was sitting writing out and drawing out battle plans. Nick wanted to plan their next candy raid on HYDRA. HYDRA Primary was doing all kinds of bad things – stealing mail and trying to enslave the human race. Plus, that Red Skull guy made Bucky, the real kid one not the bear, go away. Anything that made Steve Rogers sad was pretty bad in Phil's book.

Phil looked up from his notes, mostly scribbles, but they were a coded scribble that only he and Nick understood. “Yeah, Summers is up to something.”

They could both see across the street and through the gap in the high bushes where the other X-kids were playing. Scott was sitting at the top of the jungle gym scribbling on a big pad of paper.

“Some of the ones from across the way are negligible, but the one with one eye is troublesome,” she bared her teeth in a little smile. Phil noticed that she was missing one of her front teeth. “He said mean words about my brother.”

“Oh?” Phil's pencil stopped on the page.

“He wondered what good Clint could do when all he did was squawk and pretend to be Robin Hood.” Natasha pulled out her gun, examining the fined honed plastic cupped tips. “He made Clint's lip wobble. I did not like that.”

Neither of them said a word when Phil's pencil snapped.

“I see.”

Phil didn't answer her and he felt his stomach swoop. She may have seen, but Phil was still really confused. He supposed if someone made his friend sad then being mad was the right response.

He looked out over the yard and saw Clint perched up on the highest spot on the plastic rooftop of the slide castle. Clint lifted his bow and gave it a little shake like he was waving at Phil.

Phil waved back and then turned back to his papers. He needed to add a note to Nick about maybe finding a way to dye Stinkhead Summers' underwear a stupid color. It was the least Phil could do for a friend.

+

The front of the school was done up in red paper and streamers that glittered. Someone had rigged up something that flashed hearts and fat baby angels with bows and arrows. There were greetings for a Happy Valentine's Day and Phil made a face. It was kind of a gushy holiday. Girls were weird enough without having to figure out what to get them for Valentine's. Maybe he could just see if his mom would buy him those awesome Star Wars ones with the candy and he could just share the candy with his friends and give the cards to the girls. He nodded to himself. It was a good plan.

“You shoulda just got Birdbrain to put on a diaper!”

Clint's face went red and he ducked his head, hunching his shoulders slightly. He straightened up and then opened his mouth.

“Shut up, Summers. At least when Hawkeye blinks he doesn't have to say sorry for busting down the Great Wall of China!” Phil said, and he felt satisfied when Scott made a face at him.

“You shut up! You don't even DO anything, Crummy Coulson!” Scott flicked his fingers against the side of his visor.

Phil got ready to run. Scott Summers may have been a stink head, but he was a stink head with laser blasting eyeballs. His mama wasn't raising no fool. 

The loud wet THWACK of suction cupped arrows and several rounds from Natasha's gun hit Scott in his stupid face. 

“ARGH! YOU STUPID ASS-!”

“SCOTT SUMMERS WHAT DID YOU SAY?!”

Phil looked up as Mrs. Summers crossed the parking lot with Xavier zooming toward them already making excuses for Stinkhead Summers. “Scramble!”

Clint grabbed Phil's hand and they made for the next block. Natasha nodded sharply and disappeared with a quick jump and flip over the fence.

Phil gripped Clint's hand as they ran.

If Phil's face went a little hotter when Clint gave him a hug when they finally stopped, Phil wasn't going to try and figure that out just yet.

+

Phil took a deep breath and sat down. He'd made thirteen plans and five contingency plans. He learned about those from his daddy. “Foreplanning is what saves the world, PJ.” 

“Yes, Agent Daddy, sir,” Phil had said and his daddy had laughed that big booming laugh and tickled him till he was crying. His daddy was the best. 

His daddy was even okay when Phil told him that he maybe wanted to not make Steve his first best friend anymore. He kind of had another person in mind. He'd made a list and he'd checked it twice, just like Santa, but not really. He figured that Nick would be first, but he kept moving Nick to the side and one person kept finding their way to the front of Phil's pile.

“Hey.” Clint plopped down next to Phil and scratched at the new scab on his knee. They'd run from Stinkhead Summers and ended up playing the rest of the afternoon in the big park at the end of the block. They’d even foiled a HYDRA plot in the middle of their fifth game of tag. 

Clint had fallen down trying to take down the Nazi robot and scraped up his knees. Phil had turned off the robot with a collection of paper clips and the sling shot that he wasn't supposed to technically have. Nick's eye was still kind of nasty looking from the last time Phil had used it.

“Hey,” Phil said, and he looked around at the loud party with Steve dressed up in a sheet and carrying around Clint's bow and arrow. “How did they get him to dress up like Cupid?”

“Tony said he'd build Steve a motorcycle.” Clint grinned when Steve started to chase Tony around the room, shooting foam heart arrows at his butt.

Phil leaned to the side a little and Clint leaned in too. Their shoulders touched and Phil felt his cheeks go hot again. He kind of slumped against Clint. “I got a couple of juiceboxes and uh. This for you,” he whispered and dumped the carton of apple juice into Clint's lap along with a little white lumpy envelope.

Clint tore into the little envelope and shook it out. “Hey! Thanks! I love Chewie!” He held up the card and read the back. His lips moved with each word and Phil squinched up his nose. He probably shouldn't think that it was as awesome as it was, but he did. “To Hawkeye, I think you are the best. Be my best friend? From, Agent Phil Coulson.” He put down the card and blinked. “You wanna be my best friend?”

Phil nodded and ducked his head looking down at his hands. “Steve is my third best friend or maybe my second and Nick is my good friend, but I was thinking that maybe you could be my first best friend. My best best friend. If you wanted.”

Clint looked at the little box of candy hearts and pulled the top off and shook out the candy into his lap. He spread them out and started picking through them.

“Clint?” Phil felt silly now. Of course Clint wouldn't want to be his best friend. Stinkhead Summers was right. He wasn't awesome like Peter who could do webby things or like Tony who could build robots and stuff. He was just...Phil.

“Here,” Clint said and pressed a candy into Phil's hand. 

Phil looked down at smiled. “Be Mine?”

“I'll be your best best friend if you'll be mine,” Clint bumped his shoulder against Phil's and let himself slump against him. “I kind of already thought you were mine. But this makes it official.”

“I like official things.”

“I know,” Clint poked a straw into his juicebox.

Phil toasted Clint with his own box and nodded. He really did like official things.

+

“Hey, what's that?”

Phil stiffened slightly and he looked over his shoulder at Clint. His cheeks were smudged with soot and there was a gash that was freshly sewn up along his hairline. The mission had been rough. There had been casualties on both sides and Phil had lost a few agents. He felt old and tired, but the little piece of plastic in his hand made him feel like a kid again.

“You don't remember?”

Clint took the small piece of rubber and plastic and laughed at the tiny little arrow. “Oh god. Where did you get this?”

Phil slid his arm around Clint's waist and pulled him in close. “My mom sent it with a bunch of stuff from the old house. Our class picture is in there.”

Clint ducked his head against Phil's shoulder and laughed again. “God, I can't believe she kept all this. Oh man. She put it in your Star Wars lunchbox. How fucking cute is this?”

Phil tapped a picture and Clint huffed out another breath that was mostly a laugh. “I remember this day.”

“Me too. Valentine's Day mixer,” Clint smirked.

“It is not a mixer when it is a bunch of five year olds, Barton.” Phil said dryly and he rubbed his thumb against the soft frayed edge of the photo. 

Clint kissed Phil's cheek. “You shared your juice box with me and gave me a Valentine's card. With the candy still attached,” he added.

Phil wondered how it was possible that they'd lived this long and been through so much and still come out together. “It's been a long time since then.”

“You calling us old, sir?”

“Just seasoned.”

“Seasoned. Uh huh.” Clint placed the photo on the nighstand on his side of the bed. “Well, we've seen plenty of those. Seasons that is.”

Phil pulled Clint back into his space and kissed his temple, just above the new would-be scar. “Yeah. Planning on a lot more, Barton.”

“Anything you say, Coulson.”

Phil sighed long and slow and rested against Clint. “I love you.”

“Scott Summers is still a dick. You'd think he'd have grown out of that.”

Phil couldn't disagree, but at the moment he thought he'd just enjoy a quiet moment with his husband. 

“He really is. You'd have thought that with Jean going all firebird on him he would have learned to be less of a-.”

Phil grabbed Clint's face and kissed him hard. He couldn't disagree with Clint, but he had figured out years ago that he'd devoted way too much time thinking about Stinkhead. Phil Coulson had more important things to do with his life.

 

the end.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have not yet read A-Babies vs. X-Babies, you should do so. Scottie Young and his crew do an amazing job making all your favorite characters adorable enough to make your teeth rot. BUCKY BEAR. That is all I have to say.
> 
> Also, I am sure Scott Summers is a nice guy. To some people. Ahem.
> 
> ETA: There is a Dr. Who reference somewhere. If you can find it, uh, internet cookie for you! ;)


End file.
